Point of View, or Shaken
by AniBlaire
Summary: An alternate universe fic about Slayer Xander's, and Vampire Willow's ponderings.


TITLE: 

TITLE: Point of View  
AUTHOR: Blaire Ryan  
EMAIL: Redbat1@earthlink.net  
RATING: PG-13  
SUMMARY: Xander, the vampire slayer, watches one crazy day in the life of his friends, and he's not alone.  
SPOILERS: nothing really, since this is AU.  
PAIRING: Buffy/Anya, Xander/Kate, Tara/Spike, Willow/Xander(kind of).  
DISTRIBUTION: You Got the Stones, Existence Crawls, and Eternal Bitca.Anyone else, email me and I'll let ya have it.  
DISCLAIMER:I don't own it.Big W does.No, not Bush, Whedon!Oh, and Point of View is sung by Blink 182  
FEEDBACK: Desired like none other.  
NOTES: Response to Challenge #101 at [You Got the Stones?][1]

"Slayer is male (Xander), Buffy and Anya practice witchcraft (whether they are an item is up to the answerer) and Spike is the vengance demon and Willow is the implanted vampire."

Also, I apologize for my crappy Xander-writings.I blame it on the AU, I tell ya, the AU!  
DEDICATION: To Ragna, for the challenges I have taken and yet to respond to. *sheepish grinning* 
    
     

You know those days where you wake up, you look around, and you say, "How the hell did I get _here_?"Well, I was having one of those days.One of those days where you just sit and try to figure out where everything went wrong, or right.And no matter what you do, it still doesn't want to make sense.It's just, all those little tiny small things get in the way.Maybe I should tell you about it, and you can see what I mean.

It started in the morning, as many odd days do.Waking up in my apartment, my slayer powers refreshing me after just a few hours of sleep, as usual.Also as usual, Kate and I did the fun naughty stuff to bring ourselves to full consciousness.It was then that things started working out strangely.

"Xander, do you ever think about kids?"I did a practical spit take on the notes I'd been trying to study during breakfast.So much for eligble study materials for Lindsey to copy down

When I looked at Kate, to see if she was joking as I hoped she was, my confusion grew.Her usually decisive expression held this heartbreaking little pout that told me she was dissappointed with my reaction."Um, well… not so… um… no," I finally told her, feeling like a rat surrounded by hungry cats.I didn't want to hurt her feelings, I swear.I just… hadn't thought about it.I was the slayer, I didn't want to leave anyone behind with a kid if I was killed suddenly.Unfortunately, Kate didn't give me the chance to explain this to her.

"I knew it!Just because I'm not your first love, you don't consider me your mate!I'm just good for sex, aren't I?" Kate was standing and yelling, and before I could say another word, she ran from the apartment and out to her car.By the time I caught up, she was driving away, throwing one of my CD's out the window.

Okay, so it wasn't one of my biggest moments of slayerhood.I can be killed and come back to life, kill ascended demons, stop robot killing machines, but not explain the direness of my situation to my girlfriend?Things had been so much easier with Cordelia.She was a vampire, and couldn't even think of having kids.Well, it was easier until the whole "slept with her and she turned into Chase, Scourge of Africa" thing.Oh, that and the fact that she left me on the day of graduation, after a huge battle where I needed emotional support more than nearly ever before.

I sighed more than a few times, as I watched Kate's car drive off.I mean, what was I supposed to do.Kate may have looked like a twenty year old, but the Initiative had genetically engineered her only two years ago.She was still new with the emotion thing.Even though she had the knowledge of every book in the university's library, and nearly my strength, she was little more than a well-learned child in emotional standards.I was just glad the Initiative wasn't pulling all the string any longer.That was too hard on all involved.

I know, I'm getting distracted from the point.About how my life has spun out of control, and not always for the worse.But then, Kate is definitely one of the "not worse" parts.She may be as emotionally uncontrolled as an eight year old, but I love her.

Anyway, I admitted defeat, and went inside for refuge.I wasn't too interested in seeing how long I could stay comfortable outside in a tee-shirt and boxers in the middle of January.Chosen One or not, I sure as hell didn't like to freeze to death.

Damn, this was not a good day already.

~~~

I don't think I can possibly say it enough.I hate this fucking town. Everything about it is always getting on every nerve I've got. Everything from the one "club", the substandard beer, the sunlight, but especially the damn people.I can't even scare them into giving me money anymore, because the word's spread about what I'm doing.I'm just a weird girl in black that tries to get money for free.The stupid town was so oblivious, it took all the fun out of terror.

Now, of course, the terror was shortlived once my "victims" realizes I can't hurt them.I may be evil looking with the sharp teeth and all, but with a chip in my head, I'm just Willow.A vampire that was stupid enough to get a chip stuck in her head.

So, here I am, sitting around Liam's apartment, watching the cutesy-tootsy witches talk about whatever the hell they're doing at the Uni and I could puke blood just thinking about it.Anya was far better when she was just one of the slayer's annoying little nerd-friends.Now that she's all self-confident and girl-loving she just drives me batty.

"Will you two bleedin wiccas just get a room?" I growled threateningly at them, which made Buffy shrink back like usual, but it just made Anya roll her eyes.

"If you don't like it Willow, you can always leave," She didn't even bother to look at me again, just went back to talk to the still nervous Buffy.That made me more pissin mad, just as she knew it would.Ignoring me like I was a common house cat.

"Bugger all, I would.If I hadn't been *stuck* here by the unemployed watcher there," I sent a growl in the direction of the kitchen where Liam was making some call or other."Don't know why I bother with bringing you people information anyway.Might as well just let the world end and get it all over with."

"Oh quit whining Willow.You're just lucky Xander leaves you undustlike.After betraying us to Riley like that.And don't even mention that demon you killed, like you did it as a favor to us," Tara said as she walked in the door, Spike on her arm in his usual possessive manner.

I didn't even bother to respond to the twit.I could have, I had seen her the night before wearing the ridiculous outfit at the drive-up diner, but I kept it in.No use wasting energy on loser-girl.

It wasn't like I had anywhere else to go, anyway.

~~~

I was finally able to get ahold of Kate a few hours later.I told her how Cordelia was long out of my life, and how much I loved her.She confessed on the phone that she'd thought she was late, but stress over how committed I was was the cause, not pregnancy, according to the doctor and her own thought-processes.

So, with Kate's promised to make it up to me for my CD's she'd been throwing out the window for half the day, she hung up leaving me with a smirk on my face.I'd never quite heard her use *those* words before.All I had to do was go on patrol, and Kate'd be waiting for me when I got back.

It wasn't a bad patrol.Just one vamp rising out of his grave, and not exactly a difficult kill.It was pretty much how I wished typical patrols would go… until I saw Willow sitting on a grave muttering to herself.

Immediately getting that annoyed feeling, I was tempted to walk up and push her off the grave into a freshly-opened whole below her.But, realizing she'd already killed one of the vampires for me, I decided to just shove her off to the side.

She did her usual growl and glare when she stood up, wiping the dirt off her precious leather jacket.I made a note to ask her where she'd gotten it sometime.

"Slayer."

"Willow," I acknowledged.

"What's wrong, you're not pummeling me as usual?" Willow noticed, probably dissappointed, knowing her.

I grinned, "Just don't feel like it Willow."

Shaking her head, she reached into the jacket and pulled out a cigarette and her lighter."That's your problem, slayer.You don't see the world as it is.It sucks, and you can't do anything about it.You could die in five seconds or five minutes from some random demon.Doesn't that bother you?"

I thought about it for a moment, then shook my head."Nope.We all die Willow.Besides, in my point of view, the world ain't that bad."

Willow shook her head."You know what Slayer?"

Curious, "What?"

"You have a shitty point of view."

The End
    
    _Two different people, two different places_
    
    _Through a one way window with two different faces_
    
    _Agreements are not reached, faces are forgotten_
    
    _The other person's shoes, you have got in_
    
    _ _
    
    _Stubborn minded enclosed to your own world_
    
    _Wake up and see someone else's morals_
    
    _Want is right to you_
    
    _Might be true_
    
    _ _
    
    _It's a different point of view to you_
    
    _You cannot see things that are different to me_
    
    _And I can't understand why you cannot see_
    
    _The things that I cannot see_
    
    _ _
    
    _I see what you don't see_
    
    _I see what you don't see_
    
    _Turn around and the shadows are all around me_
    
    _ _
    
    _Two different people, two different places_
    
    _Through a one way window with two different faces_
    
    _Agreements are not reached, faces are forgotten_
    
    _The other person's shoes, you have got in_

   [1]: http://bastardgenres.com/bafa/xx.html



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